you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
