I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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