You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
