I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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