Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
