My cat gives me a boner
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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