Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
