Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize