I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
