Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
