Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
