new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
