Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
