I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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