is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize