Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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