I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
