I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
