We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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