im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
where am i from again
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
