# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
