People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
