What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
