there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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