Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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