Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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