Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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