Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
