I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
