the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
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I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
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Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize