everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize