You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
