You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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