this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
