if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
