I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
