try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The air was thick with penises
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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