He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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