Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
