Sry I called you an 8
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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