I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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