is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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