We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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