this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im holly from the hills drunk
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
