Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
