wanna go halves on a baby?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
