I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
we should paint friendship bongs
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