I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
