They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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