Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize