I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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