she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
