i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
