My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
