Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
