dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
