the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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