I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
